Calendar

««Feb 2010»»
SMTWTFS
  123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28
endlesslyrocking
'Out of the cradle, endlessly rocking...'

.....

26 January 2010, Tuesday 8:36 P GMT-05
     I'm going home.  Say 'hi' to everyone for me...

'you just roll around Denver all day...'

26 January 2010, Tuesday 8:31 P GMT-05
     I've been to Denver, and Warren Zevon's the only songwriter who's done it justice...

aimless noodling...

26 January 2010, Tuesday 8:25 P GMT-05
     Forgot to mention that I'm back to work, at least a few hours a day.  We more or less shut down in the last week of November, and don't start up full time until Spring.  For now, I'm just collecting on outstanding accounts and planning the next season.  
     With that in mind, I'll spend a few hours at the home office in Chicago in mid-February, getting a bit of help from the Boss.  While there, I'll see some fine fellow bloggers - namely Tripp, Jennifer, and Clifton - for the first time, wander about the city a bit, and in the end, write off half my expenses...  Moving on...
     I need to hire someone at some point in the season, and don't know how to do that, at least, not how to work out their pay and taxes and what-not.  I've also set some ridiculous goals for this coming year, and need help in managing my time.  I can tell you that every eight weeks or so I plan to fly away somewhere and just sit for around four days, staring at an ocean, say, and reading and drinking... 
     Speaking of reading and drinking...well, at least drinking...I no longer like Maker's Mark bourbon.  It's not, well...let me think now...I've no technical vocabulary for this...I just don't think it's...you know...smooth...
     Oh, and have you yet paired creme brûlée with a bit of bourbon served neat?  Now that's a consolation on the way, my only friends...and, it's quite Lenten...
     Lessee, what else, what else?  I know...bought a chef's knife...a Shun eight inch with a granton edge to be precise...it and my enamelled dutch oven are among my Favorite Things.
     I need a nap.
     Peace out.
    

ah, another Lent...

26 January 2010, Tuesday 8:04 P GMT-05
     Lent fast approaches.  It's a fine time of the year, my friends, a fine time of the year.  That's all I'll say about it.
     Oh, you want to know what I'll be reading?  You mean, by way of spiritual stuff?  Well, lessee...

i guess i just don't care...

26 January 2010, Tuesday 7:54 P GMT-05
     You know, I've been looking over some books on Reformation history I read many years ago...folks like Oberman and Muller and Kolb...damn fine scholars who'll hip you to what the hell's going on...I recommend 'em all...  Still, after a while I realized...I'm just not into it any more...I just don't care to go through any fuss and bother to repristinate or reform or renew or otherwise tilt at the reality that it's over, so over...

for my friend Axegrinder...

26 January 2010, Tuesday 7:48 P GMT-05
     Thanks for the comments.
     Had Wendell around for thirteen years, my friend, and all that time I've lived in three apartments on the same alley and walked a half-dozen streets countless thousands of times.  Rootedness can be overrated...
     The Praise Band Collective, by the bye, seems to follow me aboot.  Over the past few years I've taken us to a number of parishes, with different logos on the shingle out front, only for 'em to catch Praise Band Fever hard upon our arrival.  The latest was that little Anglican church I kind of liked for a few weeks.  Now, granted, they're not going All The Way, with Powerpoints and the like, but the thought of a so-called 'Contemporary Service' at this tiny church in the Anglican Continuum just sent me over the edge.
     I have only one real objection to membership in an Orthodox church at this point - it's likely that were I to join, the particular parish would become the first in Orthodox history to install a Powerpoint Machine and hire an Emo Guitarist for their New Informal Praise And Worship With A Bagel Eucharistical Fling... 

so, that's done...

26 January 2010, Tuesday 7:41 P GMT-05
     I've made a decision that will annoy a lot of folks.  Some will laugh at me.  Some will be pissed off.  Most will just scratch their heads and stare in bemusement.
     I have no grand reason, no global point to make.  I don't care if anyone else would make the same decision.  It's the best I can do in my place and time - that's all.  Somewhere else, some other time and...who knows?  I might just go another way.  To be honest, it's like that Warren Zevon song - 'I appreciate the best/ But I'm settling for less/ I'm just looking for the next best thing'.
     That's all I'm going to say on the matter...

just a thought...

26 January 2010, Tuesday 7:26 P GMT-05
     Has it occured to anyone that it would have been far more scandalous had we discovered that Tiger Woods cheats at golf?  Think about it, dear reader, think about it...

some say he's an F1 driver coming out of retirement...

26 January 2010, Tuesday 7:19 P GMT-05
     ...others say he shills for Bacardi in his spare time because he likes the way the happy water smells...
     All we know is, everything said about The Stig is untrue...unless it's true that is...
     By the bye, it pleases me to think that The Stig is a priest from near the border with Scotland...don't know why...

and another thing...

19 January 2010, Tuesday 2:16 P GMT-05
     Gombrowitz as overstayed his welcome.  We all need a primer in the annihilation of cant - Byron's good here - but Gomby's saturation in Husserl and Sartre, and his smirkish condemnation of all that smacks of nobility and beauty as an expression of the irrepressible upupienie of anyone so unfortunate as to not be born Gombrowitz, has grown tiresome.

offhand thoughts on Milton...

19 January 2010, Tuesday 2:13 P GMT-05
     Love Milton, need Milton, but come now, let's reason together - for Milton matter must needs be eternal, and because all manner of hideousness follows from this, he made matter an attribute of God himself.  Coleridge has some things to say about this.  What's more, for Milton the Son is indeed coeternal; he's just a product of will.  I leave to the gentle reader the proof of the following proposition - in this, Milton, who is such a wonder and a genius and a damn fine poet to boot, a man who grasped as it were intuitively the snares of falleness, the man who made Satan at once a tyrant and a gnat drawing down derisive laughter while appearing to the fallen senses of readers everywhere a beautiful proto-Byronic hero - that man was a moron when it came to simple metaphysics.

odds and ends

19 January 2010, Tuesday 1:59 P GMT-05
     Finished the book purge yesterday by selling off eight more boxes of the things.  Lots of 'em were quite thick and heavy.  Also sold off half of our DVD's and two thirds of our CD's. 
     I'm suffering Excessive Book Clutter Withdrawal, but other than that things are fine.
*****
     You know, the only thing wrong with seminaries is that they're full of s-s-seminarians...
*****
     I've a couple pair of new eyeglasses - one of 'em prescription sunglasses.  Never had those before; always used the clip on thingy.  Anyway, this time bifocals were optional but strongly recommended.  Next time I'll need 'em for sure.  That's just three short years away, dear reader.
*****
     Been blogging now for six years.  ER's sixth anniversary comes round again mid-March.  How the hell did that happen?
*****
     You'll notice I've said nothing about the earthquake in Haiti.  That's because I've nothing to say.  Just give what you can and pray all the time - anything else is a waste of time.
*****
     Paul Griffiths thinks plagiarism is just fine.  I'll test that by reproducing his entire book under my name.
*****
     The Praise Band Collective has powers of surveillance and coercion that rival those of the CIA and the NSA combined.
*****
     I sometimes wonder if Shakespeare's 'Phoenix and the Turtle' doesn't tell you all you need to know about the Church's Trinitarian confession.
*****
     Found a Bible given to me thirty years ago by a friend of our family.  It's full of underlining and annotations in my early adolescent scrawl.  From what I gather, I never once read anything by Paul.  Genesis, the Prophets, the Song of Songs, Job, Ecclesiastes, the Gospels, 1 & 2 Peter, 1, 2, & 3 John, and the Revelation, all got a good once over at least, but I ignored Paul.  Funny, that.
*****
     The twenty-sixth anniversary of my baptism comes round in five days.  I want cake and lots of presents...
*****
     Insert something witty here for a conclusion. 

one more thing...

13 January 2010, Wednesday 7:37 P GMT-05
     Over the next year or so I'll also pick up a few good commentaries on various books of that there Bible the kids make such a fuss about...

take and read...

13 January 2010, Wednesday 7:30 P GMT-05
     Okay, this is cool, and so is this.

winter reflections with ishmael...

posted 15 January 2009, Thursday

     Outside it's about 8 degrees above zero.  [Of course, I always forget the dreaded wind chill - I could romp in the snow in my shirt sleeves were it not for the wind.]  Everything seems dull gray and black against the endless white blank of snow.  As I look over the scene, I feel what you could call a kind of metaphysical chill.
     ‘This elusive quality it is, which causes the thought of whiteness, when divorced from more kindly associations, and coupled with any object terrible in itself, to heighten that terror to the furthest bounds'.  So says Ishmael as he descants on ‘The Whiteness of the Whale', seeking in reflection the reason for that metaphysical horror induced by the very existence of the beast.  He revolves the polar bear, terrible in its aspect in any case, yet more horrible by virtue of its blank whiteness.  He thinks further on ‘a midnight sea of milky whiteness' at which the mariner feels ‘a silent, superstitious dread':   ‘he never rests till blue water is under him again'.  Ishmael considers ‘the muffled rollings of a milky sea; the bleak rustlings of the festooned frosts of the mountains; the desolate shiftings of the windrowed snows of the prairies' - and yet he has not ‘learned why it appeals with such power to the soul', why, in short, ‘it is at once the most meaning symbol of spiritual things, nay, the very veil of the Christian's deity' while yet being ‘the intensifying agent in things the most appalling to mankind'.
     Well, there hangs a tale - for he remembers that ‘in essence whiteness is not so much a color as the visible absence of all colors'.  Thus it ‘stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation when beholding the white depths of the Milky Way'; and - in this Ishmael seems to look over my shoulder out the same window I do this blank day - ‘is it for these reasons that there is such a dumb blankness, full of meaning, in a wide landscape of snows - a colorless, all-color of atheism from which we shrink?'  Oh, perhaps my friend, perhaps.  But here, dear reader, Ishmael betrays his familiarity with Goethe and others - let me offer at length what follows:
    
‘And when we consider that other theory of the natural philosophers, that all other earthly hues . . . are but subtile deceits, not actually inherent in the substances, but only laid on from without; so that all deified Nature absolutely paints like the harlot, whose allurements cover nothing but the charnelhouse within'; and when we proceed further, and consider that the principle of light, for ever remains white and colorless in itself, and if operating without medium upon matter, would touch all objects, even tulips and roses, with its own blank tinge - pondering all this, the universe lies before us a leper; and like willful travellers in Lapland, who refuse to wear colored and coloring glasses upon their eyes, so the wretched infidel gazes himself blind at the monumental white shroud that wraps all the prospect around him'.

     Recall that Goethe had fashioned a kind of wheel on which he hung the moral qualities of different colors.  White is, being the mixture of all colors resulting in a blank absence of color, an absurdity.  What's more, everything dead approximates to whiteness.  Note also that Goethe's theories of light and color and optics departed radically from the regnant Newtonian consensus by emphasizing the constitutive role of the eye and mind in making colors what they appear to be.  Oh, and for Goethe, colors thusly played upon the surfaces of things; they had naught to do with substantial reality.  For Ishmael, then, exposure to this line of thought grounds much of his metaphysical reflection, and provides ample justification for his felt before understood horror at whiteness.  Thus, he can conclude, ‘Though in many of its aspects this visible world seems formed in love, the invisible spheres were formed in fright'; and ‘of all these things the Albino whale was the symbol'.  But where o where could Ishmael have gotten such ideas?
     From Emerson I would guess, who wrote of Goethe in his usual rhapsodic, disconnected way:

‘It is really of very little consequence what topic he writes upon. He sees at every pore, and has a certain gravitation toward truth. He will realize what you say. He hates to be trifled with, and to be made to say over again some old wife's fable, that has had possession of men's faith these thousand years. He may as well see if it is true as another. He sifts it. I am here, he would say, to be the measure and judge of these things. Why should I take them on trust? And, therefore, what he says of religion, of passion, of marriage, of manners, property, of paper money, of periods or beliefs, of omens, of luck, or whatever else, refuses to be forgotten' [‘Goethe, or, The Writer', in Representative Men].

Emerson fancied Goethe's theories of optics and color because they elevated the eye and the mind over brute matter.  ‘Eyes', after all, ‘are better, on the whole, than telescopes or microscopes'.  So much Emerson.  It seems to me, in all humility, that Ishmael was led to Goethe by way of Emerson. 
     So, may we conclude that Melville himself has offered his unvarnished revolutions of thought through his avatar? 
     Well, not so fast.
     On March 3, 1849, Melville wrote to one Evert Duyckink, ‘I could readily see in Emerson, notwithstanding his merit, a gaping flaw.  It was, the insinuation, that had he lived in those days when the world was made, he might have offered some valuable suggestions'.   As far as I can tell, his appreciation for Emerson remained equivocal.  Why you have only to consider ‘Mark Winsome' as found in The Confidence Man - found along with ‘Egbert', that is, Henry Thoreau.  The point, the matter, you ask?  Why simply that Ishmael ain't Melville.  That seems simple enough.  In fact, it may be that Ishmael here recites a litany grounded in a philosophical whimsy that Melville himself found unfounded.
     Well, not so fast.
     Ishmael is equivocal, not absolute.  He ain't Melville, but it's likely that there's a lot of Melville in him.  In these revolutions on the horror of whiteness and the White Whale as the Symbol of that horror, the horror of the world ‘formed in fright' in its ‘invisible spheres', Melville offers us a coherent, if nihilistic, way of accounting for the ‘charnelhouse' of the world, just as Starbuck's naïve goodness is also on offer.  [That goodness, of course, is also equivocal; it will not prevent him from driving ahead with Ahab's mad quest.]
     Again I look over the scene outside my window.  I've not seen the sun.  If I knew nothing of that minor star, I could only conclude that an amorphous light of unknown origin was fading away leaving darkness.  The whiteness of the snow gives way in such a fading light to another shade of gray in the general grayness of the world.  All is cold, wind-swept, mute.  Again, if I knew nothing of the Son, I could only conclude that this frozen, gray world was formed in fright.  Perhaps it was - without our fall, there could be no killing cold.  That fall is the source therefore of the fright that has indeed formed a post-lapsarian world.  But I dare not, though tempted sorely so to do, I dare not forget that love which gave it form ‘in the beginning', which reforms it even as we speak, and which therefore ‘moves the sun and other stars'.  Contra Ishmael, though I'm tempted to follow his thought, I can only say that though in many of its aspects this visible world seems formed in fright, the invisible spheres were formed in love, and love is stronger than death and so certainly stronger than all that frightens us in this groaning world.
     That will have to do for warmth as night falls.