another improvised divertimento

Xenophon and His Aide de Camp, pt. 4


X    What are you doing?
A    Nothing.
X    No no...I see clearly that you are doing something.
A    So?
X    So what are you doing?
A    Nothing.
X    Then you won't mind telling me what it is.
A    No, then you won't lose anything by my refusal to tell you what it is.
X    Look you, remember your place.
A    I remember my place.
X    You do.
A    Yes.
X    Doesn't seem like you do.
A    How could I forget my place?
X    How could you forget your place.
A    Yes. 
X    I don't understand.
A    You remind me every day of my place.
X    Yes.  I do.
A    So.
X    So?
A    So, how could I forget my place if every day you remind me of my place?
Silence.  Stillness.  Stars wheel overhead.  The fire is their only light.
X    Look, you didn't answer my question.
The Aide doesn't answer.  Xenophon looks over his shoulder.
X    You're scribbling something.
A    It's nothing.
X    No it's definitely something.
He peers more closely at the parchment in his Aide's hand.
X    ‘She walks in beauty like the night' - oh, come on.
A    What?
X    ‘She walks in beauty like the night'?
A    What if she does?
X    Impossible.
A    What?
X    Impossible.
A    What do you mean?
X    What do you mean?
A    I mean just what these words signify.
X    So, you intend to say significantly that ‘She walks in beauty like the night'?
A    Just so.  Yes.
X    Oh, come on.
A    What?
X    What.
A    Yes, what?
Silence yet again as they stare into space.
X    Who is ‘She'?
A    No one.
X    No one.
A    Yes no one.
X    You've described no one.
A    Yes no one.
X    Precisely.  Now go to sleep.
Yet another pause.  Silence all around.  Only the occasional snore and snort from the sleeping Ten Thousand.
A    Now wait a minute...
X    No, we've agreed that you've described no one.
A    But.
X    But nothing. 
A    Explain yourself.
X    Explain myself.
A    Yes.
X    Well, you see, I'm a general.  I always wanted to be a general, even while studying with Socrates...
A    No no no that's not what I meant.
X    What do you mean that's not what you meant you godforsaken piece of offal?
A    You should explain how I've described no one.
X    Oh, that's what you meant when you asked me before to explain myself.
A    Yes.
X    That I should explain how it is that you've described no one.
A    Yes.
X    Well, that's not exactly me, now is it.
A    Sigh.
X    I mean, you ask me to ‘explain myself,' which implies that you wish for me to explain how I came to the glory that is this life by the sea - the sea which will save us you'll see - you ask I say again for such an explanation of myself when you really want me to explain something altogether different, something that isn't myself at all but rather a proposition about your insignificant scribbling...
A    Will you just tell me just how I've describe no one?!
Silence as Xenophon blankly looks at him. 
X    Very well.
A    Thank you.
X    There's no reason to get testy about it.
A    I'm glad.
X    After all I am the general around here.
A    Yes you are.
X    Yes I am.
A    Glad we settled that.
X    Yes we settled that.
Long pause.  Silence.  The fire crackles a bit.
A    So?
Long pause.  Silence.  The fire crackles a bit.
X    So what?
A    So, what did you mean?
X    What did I mean when?
A    Just a minute ago.
X    Oh, that, well...
Pause.
A    Well?
X    Well what?
A    What...did...you...mean...when...you...said...I...
X    Is this going to take long?  I have to pee.
A    ...wrote...about...no...one?
X    Oh that.
A    Yes that.
X    Well, it's obvious really.
A    Explain it anyway.
X    It's like this.
A    Yes?
X    First of all, what does ‘walks in beauty' signify?
A    She's beautiful.
X    That much is certain - if I know the beauty you intend - but what's this walking in beauty?
A    It's a figure of speech.
X    Really.  Go figure then.
A    She isn't just beautiful you see.
X    Pretend I don't see.
A    She isn't just beautiful you see - she is beauty, or rather, she participates in the form of beauty itself.
X    Participates in the form of beauty.
A    Just so.  Yes.
X    Wait.  I know this.
A    You should.
X    Socrates went on about something like that.
A    See, all that time studying wasn't a waste after all.
X    Well, a general needs be learned.
A    And you are a general.
X    That's what I keep saying...
Long pause.  One of the Ten Thousand shouts a woman's name and then screams in fright then silence again.
X    So, she walks in beauty does she?
A    Yes.
X    No.
A    No.
X    Yes no.
A    Socrates would say yes.
X    No he wouldn't.
A    Yes he would.
X    No he wouldn't.  That's a lie.
A    A lie.
X    A lie.
Pause.
A    I'm sure he would.
X    Maybe as a joke.
A    Not always as a joke.
X    I think I know what Socrates would say you slime fungus.
A    If you insist.
X    I do insist.
A    All the same, she does participate in beauty's form.
X    Couldn't just say ‘She participates in beauty's form'.
A    Oh no that just wouldn't do.
X    Fine.  Suppose I go along with all that.
A    Suppose you do.
X    How is this ‘like the night'?
A    That's obvious.
X    I thought we agreed that the night is the night and the day is the day and a stone is a stone and a god is a god...
A    Well, we did, but...
X    But what.
A    But it's a pleasing simile and...and...
X    And what?
A    And I needed three words that sounded like that.
X    Needed three words.
A    Yes, needed three words.
X    ‘She walks in beauty' had not the needful number.
A    No.  I needed three words.
X    I see.
A    For the meter.
X    For the meter.
A    Yes.
Pause.
X    Why not just change the meter?
A    I cannot just change the meter.
X    You cannot just change the meter.
A    No the meter cannot be changed.
X    I see.
A    Besides, it's a pleasing simile.
X    How is it pleasing?
A    Well, she participates in beauty's form.
X    Established.  Go on.
A    And so does the night.
X    It does?
A    Yes.  Night is beautiful.  Therefore it participates as well in beauty's form.
Pause.  Xenophon looks around.
X    Looks dark to me.
A    Not this night.
X    Dark and scary. 
A    Not this night.
X    It kind of smells out here.
A    Not this night.
X    Never noticed that before.
A    You miss the point.
X    The moonlight on the sea is quite lovely, but there are all these wild animals who might kill us...
A    You miss the point.
X    ...not to mention the Persians who will be here any day now.
A    Again with the Persians.
X    You know they're coming.
Pause.  Silence.  The Aide regards the parchment between them.
A    It's not that this or any other night is so participates as well in beauty's form.
X    This or any other night. 
A    Right.
X    Then what's this ‘night' to which she's likened in your insipid line?
A    Sigh.  Not a night.  Night.
X    Night.
A    Night.  Yes.  Night.
X    Night.
A    Yes.  Night.  Night itself.
X    Night itself.
A   Night itself.  Yes.  Nightness.
X    Nightness.
A    Nightness.  Yes.  The idea of night.  That idea participates as well in beauty's form.
Pause.  Xenophon takes the parchment, gently rolls it, gently places it between two sticks in the fire.  He warms his hands.
X    Did I tell you how I once slew a pigmy with no neck and a giant head?
Silence.
X    No?  Well, you see, I once slew a pigmy with no neck and a giant head.
Silence.
A    Why did you do that?
X    He came at me with a rock.  Had no choice really.
A    No, why did you do that?
Points to the ashes.
X    Saving you from yourself.
A    Saving me from myself.
X    Yes.
A    I see.
X    You'll thank me for it later you puddle of scrotum sweat.
A    I'll thank you.
X    Yes. 
Pause.  Silence.
X    Do you think the Persians will attack tomorrow.
A    One can only hope.
X    Better they do it at dawn.
A    At dawn.
X    Yes.
A    Why better at dawn?
X    Then we have the rest of the day.
A    I see.
X    Maybe I'll write a poem.
Silence.  They stare into space as the fire slowly burns out.